Having Faith is the only thing that pleases God

Went to church today and as usual our pastor Julian spoke so beautifully and convincingly that i just wanna keep on nodding my head the whole time. Thought i would skip service today and study for my exam but then i know i would eventually sleep and waste my time so i thought I'd go and have quality time with God.

As a kid i always hated going to church. Only if i had a pretty dress would i wanna go otherwise i was very demotivated to attend services. I got bored hearing about the narrations after the narrations about what happened to the Israelites, the kings and on and on cos I even got to hear about that in Sunday School too. And the sad part was that there were rarely, even a pint of humor to the messages. Anyways past is past, now am like really looking forward to attend service and if i ever missed one i would be really sad. But i guess part of the reason was because of our pastor who's really concerned for the youths and i can really say that he's truly a man of God.

He talked about Faith today. It was based on Genesis 17:15-21. Abraham, the father of faith waited for 15 years and finally God appeared to him and told him that he would a father soon. During that long years God was teaching him develop Faith. It was the undying and unfailing Faith that Abraham has towards God that made him a blessed man.

Faith is the language of heaven and God throws us in a situation that allows us to develop Faith so as to help us reach/attain that eternal life and the riches that God has stored for us in heaven.
God gives the best to those who let Him have His will and not go according to one's own wishes. However God is so generous and loving that He answers our prayers. But we have to always bear in mind that it has consequences. If you make a wrong choice, the consequence can be passed from generation to generation. But, the good news is that He would redeem us if we ask Him so.

I cannot type the exact words that Julian shared to us but it was really enlightening and it's not about how he teaches us from how God made the heaven and the earth to the end of the world in revelation, but its the way he extracts from the bible, a verse or a chapter and makes us see the relevance in today's world and the need for God's word in our daily life.

"LEAVE YOUR CHOICE TO GOD; THOUGH IT MIGHT BE THE HARDEST PART. ALL THINGS WORK OUT FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN GOD. WE HAVE TO ONLY HAVE THE 'YES' SPIRIT!"

My old friend

Bumped into my old friend yesterday. We had some misunderstandings 2 years back and we didn't get in tough for quite a long time and as i entered a restaurant with three of my friends, we had missed our lunch, i saw her with her brother and i just had to talk to her. Felt good after i talked to her, we exchanged phone no's and i promised her that as soon as my exam gets over i would go over to her place; she says there are lotsa handsome guys in her campus. lol!

I was wondering that we tend to get irritated with our friends cos he/she did something that we don't want him/her to do or the fact that we expect so much from them and failing to live up to that kind of expectation would eventually lead to disappointments.

Anyways i have given one theory paper, four more to go and i would really burn my materials after i finish giving all my papers. seriously!!! Just makes me feel sad as to how much i have to study the handouts. O ya before i went to give my exam, where i was 10 minutes late and a professor who have an impression of me as a procrastinator was there and I'm sure she must have felt that her "hypothesis' bout me was confirmed (lol), my balcony mate gave me a hand made good luck card and i was so touched by it. I mean i never said good luck nor did i even asked her about her exam date sheets which was really embarrassing for me now. Have to improve my Social Skills!

Well another paper on 30th April. Wasted my time yesterday over sleeping for long hours, slept till today. Ya i know i can't keep awake for long. Gotta work on that too cos its starting to be a joke for my friends!

my worries and self reflections

All the 5 viva's are done and now the theories are remaining. These 2 years i've been hearing lots of negative comments after comments even though there are only some few instances where the professor was kind enough to say that i had the potential but its my attitude problem that's hindering me from doing well.
Infact today i got to hear that comment which in some way was comforting but at the same time know that i have a bad impression on the teachers. The last time i remembered was when i was presenting a case study and the professor said that it was good.

One thing that got me stuck when my supervisor asked me as to why the good reflections that i've written on the files aren't visible in the classroom activities. I had wanted to say lotsa stuffs but all i could manage to say was that i lacked initiative which might probably be the main reason.

I was really disturbed mentally with the whole viva and the practicals that we did. First of all i couldn't in any way find any group that i really wanna belong to nor be welcomed. Secondly, i had cried in one of the practical as i was made the scapegoat and made to feel that i wasn't contributing to the work team at all. It was really embarassing for me. I'm quite mad at the fact that i let my emotions get the better of me. M such a cry baby. Well no need to cry over spilt milk now......

The past months i was so depressed, regretting every acts, that i had wished i would vanish into thin air or that the earth would swallow me up. Nothing could bring me back some hope that everything would be fine though i've found solace in reading the bible verses. I need to constantly read up otherwise i tend to cocoon myself again with depressing thoughts.

My journey i guess starts from here where the outside world is really harsh and one needs to wake up to the realities, not to brood over something that cannot be redone. There will be many complexities in this life and one has to defeat it and not to let it defeat you (which is easy to say than really do it). My talk with one of the prof. after the viva was really therapeutic in that, he says "There's nothing you can do about your past mistakes but what's left of you and how you make use of it will determine who you'll become."